The Truth

I think I know the reason of rain that felt just now, Prediction of a bad mood me.

In my opinion,

so what we are the one of the best written research report group, it doesn't mean that our presentation are also the best. we are just the best among the worst, I don't think that I'm very proud of that. Yes it is an honor to be select as example for the junior to search for references. but do they know the process we gone through?! It sucks to let people classify as ' because they got bad grade, so they have to do the presentation ', it is totally not fair ! If they are so great, I would offer the 'chances to present their work' with my both hand open widely. Let the 'Pros' do the job, Fuck you ! Besides, I would not want to mislead the junior with 'the bad grader presentation'. I rather be selfish and keep all the experience to myself than share it to benefit all and get insult in return. 

I should have known,

since after getting SPM result, I should have known not to continue the same path, the first year was great and everything when well until the second year --- nightmare.

In the end, If we gonna do we will GO ALL OUT ! ; if is not then let others do it =P

★愿幻星✖傑尐☆　　上
08.00 PM
23 MAY 2012

<傑尐✖星情5>

今天看见许多学弟和学妹，虽然我们的人数还比他们多（我们赢了！）
但是，我在里面显得我很小只。
而且有一小部分：男的高大又帅；女的可爱又美。

曾经有过这样一首歌 
想要和你一起欢笑
就像
与我相似的你 与你相似的我
虽然相似却还是有不同
因为有不同，所以才会有相似
每次说喜欢你时
那不断膨胀喜欢你的心情
便是我累积满满想要传达给你的爱之语

不知道为什么，今天心情特别好！
心里想起金莎的〈不可思议〉，真的喜欢喜欢You~

孩子气的我爱你，
捂住脸呵口气，也不轻易泄露我的心情
仅仅傻笑而已，也能够彻夜的想你
爱到不可思议，创世纪到末期
不用甜言蜜语，其实我爱的是你
烦恼的是我，虽然很粗心，但我会很努力

★愿幻星✖傑尐☆　　上
07.00 PM
8 MAY 2012

A Sleepless Night

Insomnia ! Insomnia ! Tonight I can't fall asleep, so I thought I should write something beside study and study and study.

You know? Ever since I post out 'those feeling of mine' I became more suspect to things around me.
I feel that people are watching me with weird looks, like I'm doing something weird or wrong, I feel uneasy. Is even weird that I started to feel that all people are avoiding me, like I'm some virus and might destroy you all. Including you, well it changes nothing but... is just that somehow I feel something not right, for that you are avoiding me, it is a sigh of you viewed my blog and clearly want me to Give-it-up on you.

Man, am I crazy or what. Fantasise things that not reality.
Yea, I am. Because I'm talking to myself while writing this (=.=)
If is not because of the 'responsible' thing, I might became the 'problematic student earlier'.
Everyday, I have the thought of 'not going to school' but a force of 'I must not, i must not, I MUST NOT' push me away to school. Haiz, stupid thought of being 'responsible'.

I feel so stress-out ! Left out too much at acadamic, and hey ! not only you worry about your looks my friend. My look far more worse than you okay? so ease up will you ! Geez, why people with good look still worry for being 'not much attractive', this problem should belong to 'not good looking' me.

★愿幻星✖傑尐☆　　上
03.30 AM
06 MAY 2012

Puzzle

Dream sometime can be a Sweet dream, Recall past dream, Now dream, Reality dream, Bad dream...

I dream that
'the one that i think is my best and closest friend' came but sadly, it is a goodbye.
In the dream, I voice out my happiness and sadness but I get a cold feedback on the face. I see myself crying in the dream... Ultimate loneliness huh? Seeing yourself crying .
There's lots of time i want to escape from reality, know ?
But because of the thought 'i cannot drag others who around me down' so instead of run, I stand my ground and face it...

'Always remember to smile' this is the way to be strong ? I guess i'm been using this for long time.

有人说：‘你看起來很冷淡’
其实那只是我保護自己的方法

有時候、覺得自己其實一無所有、彷彿被世界拋棄
有時候、明明身邊很多朋友、卻依然覺得孤單
有時候、走過熟悉的街角、看到熟悉的背影、突然就想起一個人的臉
有時候、突然很想哭、卻難過的哭不出來
有時候、夜深人靜、突然覺得寂寞深入骨髓
有時候、突然找不到自己、把自己丟了

愛情和情歌一樣
最高境界是餘音裊裊
最淒美的不是報仇雪恨、而是遺憾
最好的愛情、必然有遺憾
那遺憾化作餘音裊裊、長留心上
最淒美的愛、不必呼天搶地、只是相顧無言
失望、有時候、也是一種幸福
因為有所期待、才會失望
在情緒低落時, 也能安靜的讓旁人發現不了自己的存在
心情不好時、躲在屬於自己安全的角落
希望自己在意的那個人能發現自己來安慰、來疼

音樂 對於我而言
是个永遠不變不離不棄的伴侶
只有在音樂的世界裡、靈魂才得到了最大的釋放
但是过于依赖音樂 显得没安全感，孤独

很懶、不想活得那麼累
能簡單儘量簡單、不愛解釋
始終認為懂自己的不用解釋
不懂自己的不必解釋
不想管那麼多不相干的事
只挑自己愛做的事
要麼不做、要做就做到最好
其實也是完美主義者吧
極端主義者、要麼破碎、要麼完美、不要中間

I think that dream is trying to tell me 'not to let me guard down', It repeat some uneasy event happened few years ago. That person who I had conflict with, is in that dream. And it done the same thing, which is destroy my name, or the dream tell me that 'I'm deserve it'. Maybe it is, maybe really I deserve it. Since I good at almost nothing, know? Deserve to be alone, or I choose to be alone.

The Teaching, it serve to lead people to correct path, to rest the sins what we have done. But it also created a lot of single minded people in this world, for not to accept things that 'not allow in the teaching'.

Many not accept because it is not the mainstream,
Many not accept because it is the false decision of the past generation,
Many not accept because it is not allow in the teaching and it lead to hell...

I'm just a normal person with crazy minded which not make me a normal person anymore i think... Because of the past and teaching, it does make a lot of people pleased with their life but at the same time, it also does make a lot of people suffer. The more discover, the more changes.

★愿幻星✖傑尐☆　　上
10.50 PM
01 MAY 2012